The most common question I get is What Happened? or Why did you leave? It's asked like their is a simple answer. So I'm going to give a simple answer.
What Happened?
Rutabaga weekend 2019! I was excited, gonna eat some good food, have fun with the kids, listen to the bands, and take the kids to the pedal pull. Turns out, He (an over the road truck driver) ended up home that weekend. He, uncharacteristically joined us for the food but we skipped the live music. I was confused that he wanted to go. Friends we ran into were confused to see him out and about. Other friends didn't invite me for drinks in the beer tent because they knew that wasn't going to happen.
I had planned to take the kids to the pedal pull on Saturday, He convinced them to go fishing instead. You can go fishing any day, but the pedal pull is once a year. But when he wants something, He will get his way. So on Saturday we went fishing. we drove an hour to a "fishing spot" for him to bitch about not liking fishing... we stayed for 2 hours of non stop complaining. At some point I went up by the car because I was just tired of hearing it, My youngest came up with me "dad is mad" Common phrase at home, "Dad is mad"... We back home, ate some more fair food and prepared for the parade the next day.
He was supposed to leave before the parade, He was supposed to leave before the traffic, before the road was closed down. But he switched it up and went with us. and complained the whole time, then left early with the youngest while me and the 2 boys stayed to watch. He ended up staying home that night.
That week I was irritated and distant. I wasn't happy to have our weekend ruined. I wasn't happy my oldest spent the weekend at her boyfriend's, the last weekend before she left for college, to avoid him. I wasn't happy to have my 16 year old spend the weekend hiding in the she shed to avoid him. I was tired of avoiding him. tired of his always being mad.
So I was distant. and I had a big weekend coming up. Moving my oldest to college. So when we talked on Wednesday, I said don't come home this weekend. Don't some ruin this. It was Labor day weekend. He said he couldn't get a load. He'd been driving truck for 6 years, I know if he wanted a load he could get one. I'm not stupid. But he was insistent that he was coming Home.
So sitting on the toilet at work, I typed out an email telling him to find a new place to live and open his own bank account. Seems a weird way to do it, but I was done. I was at my point I couldn't do this anymore and once I hit that their was no waiting to tell him. I was scared to do it in person. Scared that this might be the thing that sets him over the edge. This might even be the point that he uses physical harm.
So What Happened? I didn't get my way so I broke up with him over an email.
Sounds simple, right? stay tuned for how it began
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