I was abused

Recently I posted on FaceBook : If I said I survived 13 years in an abusive relationship, what would your reaction be?

I got the answers I expected:  I'd give you a big hug, I'm so proud of you, I'm sorry you had to live with this, I'm angry at him but proud of you for getting out, You are so strong, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.  My friends responded exactly how I expected them to. 

So the next day I asked: If I said I've never been physically harmed, does that change your response?

The answers were astounding. But the first one, from my sister, hit the hardest: Did you gain weight, Lose weight, Have bodily changes because of mental and emotional abuse? Then it was physical.  If you neglected yourself and didn't treat high blood pressure, depression, and other health issues because of said abuser, then it was physical.

The other responses were exactly what I expected, abuse is abuse. Mental scars are deeper than physical ones, 

But my sister's answer struck home.  See, I didn't admit until 2 days I was abused.  I know life wasn't great, but I've never been hit, he didn't kick me, he didn't lock me in a room, etc. etc. etc. So was it abuse? isn't it a harsh word to say "I was Abused by that man"  It'll look bad on him.  It'll look bad on me.  Why would anyone stay in that situation for 13 years.  

It's a freeing feeling to say, I was abused.  It doesn't matter if it's Physical, Mental or Emotional.  Abuse is Abuse.  

I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm just looking to maybe help someone else realize the same thing.